Pain, Anguish, Healing
by Yuki Suou
Summary: Maybe, the pain we face is not the worst in the world...


**Pain, anguish, healing**

He slashed at the dummy soldier with all the ferocity a thirteen year old could muster.

_Fool! Do you ever think before you act? Or does that head of yours contain too much horse manure to make thinking an impossible act?_

The straw soldier lost his right arm.

Dark clouds were slowly gathering over the empty practice arena. Small ones fused to give rise to bigger clouds.

_Whoever could think that a blood-line such great as ours could give rise to a blockheaded troll like you?_

He ducked and switched the sword to his left hand and blocked an invisible blow.

A breeze which had the full potential of turning into storm started to blow.

_Silence! I will have no flimsy excuses from the likes of you. You were there and that makes you responsible for everything._

He thrust forward his sword with a great force.

The wind picked up its speed.

_You managed to disgrace me in front of the other lords. Why am I even surprised?_

The head of the dummy rolled off.

The clouds looked as if they were pulled down by the weight of the burden they carried.

_You are bad luck. You killed your own mother._

His sword clattered to the floor with a clang. The young boy dropped to his knees and let out a painful howl. It seemed as if his whole existence was being ripped out of the world. The pain was too much for him to bear. It was as if a rusty scimitar was driven through his heart and was now slowly extracting it in a winding motion.

"Stop", he murmured.

The skies rumbled.

_Associating with the likes of the grey fool! How much more disgrace will you bring to your family's name?_

"Please stop! I cannot take it anymore." His voice dropped to a low whisper. "I…. I don't want to live."

He tried to stop his tears. All his efforts were in vain. The more he tried to stop them from flowing, the more hacked and strangled his sobs became.

A lightning lit up the sky. A deafening thunder soon followed.

_Foolish._

_Disgraceful._

_Bad luck._

_Disobedient._

He broke down at last. He didn't even have the strength to prevent his sorrow from bursting out. He collapsed to the ground. Trembling, he picked up his sword once more.

He didn't need all this. He could be free. Forever.

"STOP!"

His hand stilled. He didn't have to look up to see who screamed like that to prevent the least favourite son of Gondor from choosing a bloody fate. There were only two persons in the world who could bring themselves to care about his wretched existence. And since his brother was out for training, that left only one person….

"Ioreth." Weariness was evident in his voice.

Ioreth.

His nanny.

The first drop of rain fell.

"What do you think you are doing, young man? That sword was not made to turn against its owner. Put that down."

He showed no signs of obeying. Unable to elicit a response from him, the elderly woman started to pry his fingers off the sword, one by one. She was almost to the last finger, when the boy grabbed her arm.

"What's the use, Ioreth? I am useless to this world. Maybe, I will find peace in the afterlife. Maybe…"

SLAP.

His face stung. Shocked, he looked up to see a very angry healer glaring down at him. She had hit him only once before, and that was when he had hurt his brother out of jealousy. But, he was more astonished to see tears streaming down her face.

Meekly he called out, "Ioreth? What is wrong?"

"Do not you dare ask what is wrong, young man. Trying to throw the greatest gift Ilúvatar to his face and asking what is wrong? Do you realize how many people would want a second chance of life? If not for themselves, for their loved ones? You always asked why I do not talk about my son. My only son, he… he died when he was of your age. Inspite of being a healer, I couldn't heal him. His last wish was to live….. to not die. I tried my best, but…. And after I brought you up as my own blood, you want to give up your life because you think that you are having a miserable life? Think again."

He was completely out of his wits. Seeing Ioreth so agitated, so utterly miserable, he couldn't help but re-think his decision. He reached out and hugged her.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

The heavy rain merged with their emotions.

**A/N: Read and review, maybe? Good, bad, anything?**


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